


All Of Our Friends and the Dumb Names They Gave Their Kids

by apollos



Series: The Dinner Party Universe [1]
Category: South Park
Genre: Adults, Curtain Fic, F/F, F/M, Kid Fic, M/M, Marriage, No Plot/Plotless, Pregnancy, Self-Indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-15
Updated: 2015-12-15
Packaged: 2018-05-06 23:02:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5434097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apollos/pseuds/apollos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kenny and Wendy host the monthly dinner party their friend group holds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Of Our Friends and the Dumb Names They Gave Their Kids

**Author's Note:**

> this is the most plotless, most curtain ficcy, most self indulgent thing i have ever written. there is no plot. there are so many children. it is so cheesy. i love it. i hope you will too.

Once a month, Wendy's friend group convened for a dinner party. It was a tradition that started back in high school, where the dinner parties resembled proper parties and tended to end in explosive drama and plentiful tears, but it lasted now into their adulthood. They'd pass the kids off to the local babysitter and, except the couple whose turn it was to prepare dinner, sit back and relax with some wine, discussing what had been going on, playing card games for plastic chips. This month, April, was Wendy and Kenny's turn to host the dinner party; they both pretended it was a nuisance and both secretly enjoyed the domesticity despite the fact they'd been married for nine years and had a three-year-old daughter and a second child on the way. Due to the pregnancy Stan and Kyle had offered to take Kenny and Wendy's dinner party shift; Wendy had been offended by the gesture. She was only four and a half months pregnant and perfectly capable of hostessing.

"They probably think it's above them, you know, something as pedestrian as pregnancy," Wendy said on the drive to the supermarket the morning before the dinner party. Susanna was sleeping in her carseat in the back, one of her dolls in one hand, and Wendy turned around to get a picture on her phone. Kenny was driving.

"They literally can't get pregnant, Wendy. They're both cis men."

"Still! They'll say their kids are, like, organic, or something."

"Well, I mean. They technically are." With a shit-eating grin, Kenny ducked out of the way as Wendy went to hit him.

"They're just so pretentious, I'm trying to say. Or at least Kyle is. And it's made Stan pretentious! Poor, sweet Stan."

"You know I get jealous when you start talking about Stan like that." Stan and Wendy had dated steadily until the tenth grade when Stan unceremoniously dumped her because he'd been having gay dreams about Kyle like some sort of relationship prophet. Kenny had been Wendy's comfort; they'd had a fling that Wendy had ended for college. By the end of her first year she had literally shown up on Kenny's doorstep for summer break, upset with the trite boys she'd met at college and craving his authenticity. The rest was history.

"Oh, shush. I'm just saying. Stan could've done better than Kyle."

Kenny shrugged. "They're perfect for each other. You're just jealous." He ducked out of reflex but Wendy did not attempt to hit him, as he was now pulling into a parking space at the grocery store.

Kenny went around to get Susanna out of her car seat. She had Wendy's hair, thick and black, and Kenny's mother's eyes, a nearly fluorescent green. She was a beautiful little girl; strangers often stopped them in public and told them so, and they'd been offered to have her model. "Wake up, Susie."

"Huh?" Susanna asked, rubbing at her eyes.

"We're at the grocery store. Gotta shop for Mommy and Daddy's party."

"Oh." Susanna reached her arms up, ready for Kenny's embrace. She was a bit of a daddy's girl. "Do I get to see Sawyer?"

"You know it." Sawyer was the Marsh-Broflovski closest in age to Susanna, just a few months older than her, and the result of experimental life creation projects that Kyle, who did something important with finances, could afford. He was thus biologically both Stan and Kyle, created by a mixing of their sperm. They had two other kids through the project: Maisie, who was six, and Felix, who was two. They were considering another and Wendy swore it was inspired by her own pregnancy. When the dinner parties were held the kids would go to Karen's house; she managed a preschool and was unusually good with children, her and her partner Janette discussing plans to have one of their own.

Susanna babbled on about the dream she was having in the car while they walked to the grocery store. "She's too old for you to carry her like that," Wendy said, selecting a shopping cart. Kenny deposited Susanna into the basket, doing the straps around her legs.

"Eh," Kenny said. "What's first on the list?"

"Let's hit up the produce section. We need chillies, ginger, garlic…" Wendy read from her grocery list.

"'Kay." Kenny took over control of the cart while Wendy walked beside him, one hand holding her list in front of her face and the other hovering around her stomach. "What are Craig and Tweek bringing for an appetizer, do you know?"

"Probably fruit salad. Like always." They were vegan; the recipe Kenny and Wendy had chosen for this month, Jamie Oliver's Hot & Smoky Vindaloo was not, but Tweek and Craig would do just fine with the salad Kenny would make to go along with it. They were light eaters.

"Fruit salad, Mommy," Susanna said, smiling at Wendy. She was unusually advanced, speech-wise, for her age, and her teeth were perfect.

"That's right. Do you want some fruit for lunch, Susie?"

"Yeah!"

Wendy threw a pre-packaged fruit salad of their own into the cart, now that they were in the produce section proper. "You get your own dinner party, don't you?" she asked Susanna.

"With Sawyer and Maisie and Felix and Matthew and Nathan and baby Quinn and Aunt Karen and Aunt Janette and the treehouse."

"Yep. Not Matthew and Nathan, though, because they're on vacation, remember?" Wendy said. She bagged some ginger. To Kenny she asked, "How do Karen and Janette do it?"

Kenny shrugged. He tickled under Susanna's arms, causing her to squeal. "It's great, though. Free babysitting forever."

"Maybe they'll feel differently once they have kids of their own. Come on." Wendy pointed in the direction they were to go to next. "And they keep their house so clean! I admire that."

"I think it's 'cause of how we were raised, Karen and me." It needed no further elaborating; in front of Susanna it was too dark a subject and for Wendy as well. She possessed a lot of retroactive guilt at her ignorance of Kenny's poor childhood when they were both actual children. It didn't matter so much, now; his father was in jail for manslaughter, his mother in a home, her brain frazzled, and the childhood house had been demolished as South Park expanded and became a larger city. Still, the mood was bit dull, at least until Susanna started laughing at something in her own head and snorted, causing Kenny and Wendy to laugh as well.

They finished their grocery shopping. Susanna was cranky by the end of it, annoyed with having to sit still for so long, and so Kenny let her run to the car, jogging to keep pace with her. Wendy pushed the cart behind them and smiled. If you had asked her as a child, she never would have envisioned her adult life lived alongside Kenny. Everything else was pretty much how she'd planned it-she was a doctor, she was going to have two kids, one boy and one girl, she lived in a beautiful house, people around the country knew her name in the medical field for her expertise. She had figured she'd meet a man in college (or, as a young girl, stick with Stan,) but Kenny was a nice surprise. The best surprise, really.

At home they had lunch (Susanna her fruit salad, Wendy and Kenny pre made subs from the grocery store) and then Wendy put Susanna down for a nap, reading to her. Afterwards Wendy worked a little on her latest article for a medical journal as Kenny got started in the kitchen. It was a nice day outside, sunny and warm, and she'd texted Karen about bringing Susanna over a little early so she could have some fun in Karen and Janette's incredibly kid-friendly backyard. They had an in-ground pool with a slide that Susanna adored; they'd have to bring her bathing suit.

"We could have some fun too, you know," Kenny said, bringing a sample of the sauce for the vindaloo to Wendy while she worked in the dining room. He'd tied an apron over his clothes and looked particularly good, Wendy noted, as he held the spoon out for her to take into her mouth.

"That's delicious, good job," she said, and then: "Mmm. There's too much to do. No time for play."

Kenny shrugged. "Just suggesting. I know how you get when you're pregnant."

Wendy rolled her eyes but could not deny him; she did get unusually horny during pregnancy. "Once I'm done editing this section I'm going to change the towels in the bathroom and clean the dining room."

"Nah, I'll do the dining room. Are you going to take Susanna to Karen's?"

"You don't want to see your sister?"

"I see her like, every day."

"Yeah, I'll take Susanna over. Thanks." Kenny bent down to kiss her.

As promised, Wendy got the downstairs bathroom ready for guests and then went upstairs to wake up Susanna. She found her already awake and reading by lamplight; Wendy's heart seized, filled with love. She turned on the ceiling light and Susanna perked up, love, too, apparent in her eyes. Susanna was a daddy's girl but still she adored her mother, idolized her, loved to play dress-up in her clothes and have her read to her in the evenings. The feelings were mutual.

Wendy prepared a bag for Karen with all of Susanna's thing as she'd be spending the night with the other children. With Susanna herself on one hip and her bag in the other, they received their good-bye kisses (and tickles, in Susanna's case) from Kenny and left for Karen's.

Karen lived across town, which was a farther distance than it'd been in their childhood but not that bad. South Park had hit a boom; it was no longer a small town, but something formidable, with chain restaurants and occasional traffic in the business sector. Wendy still commuted to Denver for work. She and Susanna sang along to songs on the radio on the way there, both in high spirits, enjoying themselves. Wendy loved the lack of inhibition small children had; she hoped Susanna stayed as naturally happy forever, something she might inherit from Kenny. Then again, Kenny hadn't always been perpetually happy, just good at pretending to be, and sometimes Wendy worried that still might be the case. She did think Kenny was overall content with his life but Wendy knew the pain of his past that he carried within him well; it was only natural for her to fret about her husband.

Karen was waiting to receive them in the front yard, doing some light gardening on the flowers she kept outside her house. It was a cheerful place, decorated to appeal to small children, the walls yellow and the yard full and beautiful. Karen looked as youthful as always, ready to seize the day. God bless her.

"Aunt Karen!" Susanna screamed as soon as she was freed from her carseat, running to her. Karen smiled and scooped her up.

"You're the first one here! You know why?"

"'Cause I'm your favorite!"

"That's right!"

Wendy followed them inside and gave Janette, who appeared from the kitchen, Susanna's overnight bag. Janette was a few years older than Karen, closer to Wendy's age, and they'd met online. She was originally from Nevada. Wendy liked her a lot; she was the brains behind the daycare operation, no-nonsense and sharp. Kenny often said that he and his sister had the same taste in women. "She has her bathing suit on under her clothes and her sunscreen's in the front pocket. Make sure she takes a bath after swimming, her hair'll get all messed up otherwise. How are you?"

Janette took the bag and looked into the front pocket for the sunscreen. "I'm great. Just got off the phone with the adoption agency, actually." She looked to the side; Karen and Susanna were out of earshot, chatting in the living room. Janette and Karen's house had a very modern open floor-plan, necessary for the daycare they ran. "We've been approved. Don't tell Karen; I want to surprise her for her birthday."

"That's great, congratulations!" Wendy embraced Jannette briefly. "What are the plans for her birthday, exactly?"

"Oh, just a get-together here. I'm making the Facebook event later this evening. It's easier, what with the kids and all. Tweek and Craig promised to take over the child-watching duties so Karen can relax."

"How nice of them," Wendy said, earnestly. "Speaking of-I've got to get going. The party starts in a few hours and there's still so much left to do. Thank you so much for doing this, you know."

Janette shrugged. "It's no big deal. We adore Susie. And the other children, of course, but Susie has a special place in our hearts"

Wendy said goodbye to Karen and Susanna, asking the later to call her at bedtime and the former to enforce that wish, then drove back home. It was four; the dinner party would begin at six, which meant they could expect Stan and Kyle in an hour and half, perpetually early as they were. Token and Ruby would be there right at six, along with Butters and his wife, a woman he'd met in college named Nora, and Craig and Tweek wouldn't show up until a least six-fifteen. Generally, Bebe and her husband Danilo would be in attendance as well, but they were in Serbia, visting Danilo's parents with their twins, Matthew and Nathan. Bebe and Danilo had gotten married in college; Matthew and Nathan were twelve and tended to stay home alone or with friends as opposed to at Karen's. The dinner parties were generally a couples-only affair as it depressed the singles of their group (Clyde and Cartman, not that anybody particularly cared about either of them) too much to attend, especially as they grew older and things such as mortgages and children began to dominate their conversation. The house was mostly ready, Kenny probably all set with the food, and a few finishing touches would need to be put on. Then to shower and get dressed, then a few minutes of relaxation, and the party would begin.

Against what Wendy had said previously, she ended up showering and subsequently having sex with Kenny. Despite the fact that he was pretty much a house-husband that ran a blog about his life and had a book deal related to that, he managed to stay in great shape. Wendy suspected this was somehow related to the childhood but never asked, only appreciated it as he pinned her wrists above her head on the shower wall, one large, smooth hand wrapped around her hip. Her small belly hung between them, egglike. When she'd been pregnant with Susanna they'd found sex strange at first but had quickly gotten over it, and now Wendy couldn't help but think of it as special in some weird way. Besides, she was only multi-orgasmic when pregnant, and the sex was always so damn good.

"I need a nap," Kenny said, emphasizing this point after they'd finished, leaning against each other under the shower.

"Coffee'll have to do." Wendy nuzzled her forehead against his face. "You need to shave."

"I was thinking about growing a beard, actually."

She laughed, softly. "That would look  _terrible_."

"Not like on Stan, huh?"

She leaned up to kiss him, somewhere near his lips but not quite there. "You need therapy for that insecurity."

"It's not my fault you're in love with my best friend." They both laughed.

"But, seriously, Kenny." She held his gaze. He'd always kept his hair boyishly long, shaggy, and it suited his face, as classically handsome as he was. There was water dripping down it now, and down his dark eyebrows and brown eyes, his tanned skin. He looked like the Hollister ads of their youth to her, and she loved it, loved how he could look so good without ever realizing it. Even now he seemed shy, his eyes sliding out of her grip, faint redness riding on his cheeks. "I love you so much. You are four hundred thousand million times the man Stan will ever be. I'd not be with anybody else, and-" she took his hand and put it on her stomach- "I would not be raising a family with anybody else."

She flashed back to the day she'd washed up on Kenny's doorstep; it was strangely similar to this. It had been raining, because of course it had been, and she'd been miserable and soaking. Kenny had answered the door and immediately swept her up, no questions, none needed. They'd had a long emotional talk in his ramshackle living room and then she'd slept in his bed, no sex, none needed. The next morning, with birds chirping in the background and warm light filtering in through thin curtains, they'd had sex, the first time she ever thought hersself to had  _made love_. She'd been such a girl, he so much wiser than her in so many ways, but they'd caught up fast. He'd been a lot skinnier then, a lot sadder, and they'd both been so lost without each other. But here they were now, huddled together in an overly large shower, preparing to show off to all their old friends, proof of their bond between them, egglike. The only thing missing from the moment was Susanna, but even the knowledge that she was cared for and safe so that they could have this moment warmed Wendy's heart."I love you," she repeated, and she knew Kenny was tearing up, despite the fact that they were in the shower.

"I know," Kenny said, and that spoke more to Wendy than an  _I love you, too,_  ever would. She promptly

started bawling.

"Oh, fuck!" she sniffed. "Fucking hormones! Goddammit!"

Kenny laughed hard.

She'd stopped crying by the time they were both clean and out of the shower. She sat on edge of the

bathroom and fixed her nails up while Kenny shaved in one of their sinks, chatting idly about what color to paint the new baby's nursery, about what they should wear, about whether or not Token and Ruby will finally announce their intention to have children. Butter's wife was pregnant, nearing the end; Token and Ruby had so far been adamantly against having children.

"It's a respectable life choice," Wendy said, examining her nails. She kept them unpainted but very neat. "I wonder if they feel weird around us."

Kenny shrugged. "I think Token's too boring to feel uncomfortable. And Ruby's too pissed off. God, they're a weird couple."

Wendy shrugged. "If I had to pick who would get divorced, it'd be them."

"Same. Or maybe Craig and Tweek. It cannot be healthy to have been dating for this long."

"Stan and Kyle," Wendy pointed out.

"They didn't officially start dating until senior year, but yeah. They were probably dating in the womb. Somehow." Kenny wiped his face off and splashed aftershave on; the room immediately swelled with the woodsy smell Wendy associated so strongly with him. "You ever wish we'd started dating as children?"

"God, no. That would've been so stifling. We needed to sow our wild oats."

They got dressed, Wendy donning a nice, black maternity dress and flats, Kenny expensive jeans and a button-down shirt with the sleeves cuffed. They looked at each other side-by-side in the mirror and knocked their hips together, smiling like teenagers. They had aged the best out of their friends and were easily the most attractive.

As predicted Stan and Kyle showed up at five-thirty. They brought with them a sense of urgency, mostly perpetuated by Kyle, who tended to sweep into rooms like something needed to be done right now. Stan had clearly gotten his hair cut and his beard trimmed today; Kyle was wearing a woman's sweater that clashed with his shoes; Stan passed off his desert, something fancy and French, to Kenny. Pretty par for the course.

"Sorry we're so early," Kyle said as Kenny disappeared into the kitchen and the other three walked to the sitting room.

"Please, it's no big deal."

Stan and Kyle somehow managed to both fit in a single-person armchair; Wendy sat on the loveseat, awaiting Kenny. "We just don't want to burden you."

"You guys are never a burden."

"Well, with the pregnancy and all-"  _There it was_ , Wendy thought, resisting the urge to roll her eyes.

"I'm only four and a half months along, it's fine. Kenny did most of the work anyway." Wendy smiled at him as he made his way into the living room.

"Yeah, guys. I'm Mr. Mom over here."

Stan laughed. "I read your latest blog post, the recipe for chicken salad? Why haven't you guys ever made that for the dinner party? It was a big hit with Kyle and the kids when I tried it."

"Chicken salad for a dinner party seems too pedestrian," Kenny said. Wendy felt a weird surge of pride. "You guys are picky fucks."

"I agree," Kyle offered. "Chicken salad is definitely more for a summer barbeque or something of that nature."

"Well, anyway." Stan was always so diplomatic; Wendy appreciated that. Then again, so was Kenny. It was a trait she liked in her men. "Susanna was really happy to see Sawyer. Came running right to him."

"I think she has a crush on him," Wendy offered. She felt for Susanna, strangely; Sawyer looked a lot like Stan, the only things he had inherited from Kyle his high cheekbones and eye shape. He was a handsome boy, unlike their other children, who were a strange mix of Stan and Kyle that didn't really work out.

"That's cute," Stan said. "It'd be cute if they got married."

"Whoa!" Kyle looked a Stan. "Sawyer is three, dude. Calm down."

"I don't know. What are you offering for a dowry?" That was Kenny; Wendy laughed, though both Stan and Kyle seemed offended by this.

"Isn't that typically done by the wife's family?" Kyle asked.

"All I'm saying is that Susanna could totally kick Sawyer's ass, so I think  _we_ should be getting the dowry."

Wendy was in hysterics. It wasn't really that funny, but she was pregnant, and that was her excuse."It's good to protest gender roles," she said through her laughter.

"Please, you know we let Sawyer choose everything on his own. He loves to play with his dolls." This was Kyle, who clearly did not get the joke. "Speaking of, have you guys decided on a color for the nursery yet?"

"Our top two are cranberry or mint at the moment," Wendy said. Her stomach growled at the thought of food.

"Cranberry? For a baby's room?"

"It's womb-like." Kenny shrugged.

"Can I have a beer?" Stan asked abruptly. He addressed this to Kenny; Kenny nodded and asked Kyle if he wanted anything. Kyle declined. Wendy thought he needed something to take his annoying edge off.

They continued to pass the time with idle talk, comparing babies and work, until the next guests arrived. As predicted, it was Token and Ruby, who had brought delicatessen finger sandwiches and their usual somber mood. The mood was immediately quenched by the arrival of Nora and Butters, towing homemade cookies and, in Nora's case, a huge midsection.

"Look at you!" Wendy exclaimed, enveloping Nora. She was fond of her in a maternal way; Nora was the youngest of the group and mousy, a nice complement to Butters.

"I'm due any day now," Nora said. They broke apart and she cradled her stomach. "I just hope the baby doesn't come during the party."

"Gosh, no." Butters knotted his fingers together. "Wouldn't want to ruin everybody's fun!"

Craig and Tweek showed up late as always, along with their usual fruit salad. They never brought normal fruit but exotic, expensive shit as some sort of challenge; too bad the group was cultured enough to enjoy it. They then convened over the dining room table for fruit salad and finger sandwiches, alcohol already flowing. Usually, this was the time when the big announcements were made, the promotions, marriages, and babies made apparent. This time it was Ruby with the most shocking news.

"Token and I are moving," she announced, standing next to the table and eating chunks of kiwi. Token was seated beside her, studying the placemat in front of him.

Craig, who had been talking to Nora about his favorite baby clothing line, shot his head around. "What," he deadpanned.

"We're moving," Ruby repeated, giving her brother the same dull-eyed, slack-jawed look he was giving her. "We're going to Florida. I was offered a job." Ruby was a graphic designer; Token did freelance journal work and played the stock market.

"You can't just  _leave_ ," Craig said. Tweek placed a hand on his shoulder.

"We'll probably be back." Token looked up from the placemat and shrugged. "It's a temporary position. The good thing about our jobs is they tend to be temporary. In fact, after Florida, we're looking to go to South America for a bit."

"That's ridiculous," Craig muttered. He swirled the umbrella in the cocktail he was drinking, prepared by Butters, who was a bartender in his twenties. "You can't just move to Florida," he said to his drink. Tweek started to rub his back.

"I think it's lovely," Wendy said. She was serious. "Kenny and I are considering a vacation to Costa Rica in a few years, when the new baby's old enough."

"Oh Costa Rica's great!" That was Kyle; they'd been when it was just Maisie, him and Stan. "But to vacation and to live there is one thing.

"We're thinking something like Argentina, not Costa Rica. Did you know Argentina actually has one of the highest GDPs in the world? It's very developed."

"Yeah, we knew that, Token." Kenny, who was sitting across from Wendy and between Stan and Token, shot Wendy a smirk.

" _Anyway_ ," Craig said, his voice tilted. His cocktail was gone, Tweek now half in his lap and nodding vigorously at Craig's speech."Tweek and I have our own announcement. Quinn took her first steps yesterday."

They were met with a chorus of congratulations. Craig looked smug; Quinn, at only nine months, was officially the youngest walker of the group. Wendy didn't care, as Susanna held the title in every other milestone, and she didn't believe in competition amongst children anyway. Not like Kyle, who had a sour look on his face; all of his children started walking after the age of one.

"Ike called me. He says Germany is great." That was Kyle, trying to one-up Craig, though nobody cared as much about Kyle's brother's immature backpack trip across Europe as they cared about Craig and Tweek's baby. Quinn was easily one of the cutest among the group; she was the result of Tweek's sperm and Ruby's egg, carried by a paid surrogate, and had very wide blue eyes and curly blonde hair. They had chose the name Quinn as something purposely gender neutral; that was the only thing they could find to judge rather than envy about the baby. Again, though Wendy might be skeptical about Craig and Tweek's new age lifestyle, she would never judge the baby herself. She still joined in with Kyle when they snickered about Craig and Tweek in private.

After the low key competition was finished, they moved on to dinner. Kenny took pride in the ample compliments from everybody on his cooking; Craig and Tweek assured him the salad was good, too. They all got the same text from Karen, a picture of all their children cuddled in front of the television watching a Disney movie, and cooed together. Ruby took the opportunity to go outside for a smoke break; Token went to the bathroom.

"Sawyer and Susanna are together," Kenny noted. They were; Susanna was practically wrapped around Sawyer's side. It was thoroughly adorable. "Still expecting that dowry, Stan and Kyle."

"Look at Quinn," Craig was saying to Tweek. Quinn was in Janette's arms on the couch, taking a bottle.

"Her hand-eye coordination is amazing," Tweek responded. his eyes blown wide. Wendy made a face to Kyle at that; they'd always found Tweek a bit of a non sequitur.

"I can't wait for ours to join them," Butters said, to Nora and to the group in general. "Any day now."

"Do you guys want to skip your turn next month? We'll take it," Stan said. He had genuine concern on his face.

"That would probably be for the best," Nora said. "Actually, we'll probably be absent for a few months, guys."

That was another area where the couples liked to compete-who would be gone for longest? Some considered the less months away the better; others, the more. Tweek and Craig had been gone for six until they trusted somebody else to take care of their baby, while Stan and Kyle's time away dwindled with each successive child. Considering Karen was Kenny's sister and they trusted her more than the others, Kenny and Wendy only missed two months, and would probably only miss another two with the second baby.

After dinner they broke out the card games, quickly swiping the table clean and setting up the betting pool. Wendy, Nora, Butters, Tweek and Kyle were the ones that tended not to play; they instead went to the living room. Tweek, Nora and Kyle produced knitting to work on, while Wendy and Butters were happy just to sit and relax.

"I feel like this is the mommy group," Kyle said. He was sitting on the floor cross-legged and knitting booties; for whose baby, nobody knew. Maybe his own future fourth one. "Somehow."

"Well, I'm no mom," Butters said. He was drinking beer; he claimed his days as a bartender left him averse to mixed drinks. That was the extent of his masculinity, as he was wearing a skirt and had his hair clipped back with barrettes.

"Neither am I!" Whatever the fuck Tweek was knitting, Wendy didn't know, maybe a poncho for an elephant, but it was ugly nonetheless.

"I just mean that we're the more motherly inclined group," Kyle clarified. "The ones in the other room are more, you know. Traditionally masculine."

"Including Ruby?" Tweek asked.

Kyle raised an eyebrow. Wendy sort of agreed, though she wouldn't be as quick to lump herself in with

the knitting mothers, or whatever Kyle was claiming they were. Wendy loved being a mother but hated knitting, cleaning and cooking. Those types of things tended to fall to Kenny, who was proud enough of it to run an entire blog about his life as a house-husband. None of their friends had particularly traditional heteronormative relationships, except for perhaps Bebe and Danilo, and she found Kyle's insistence that they did sort of concerning. Perhaps it came from personal insecurity. Wendy's area of expertise was sports injuries, not psychiatry.

"Ooh!" Nora said, jerking a bit. She was working on a sweater for an adult-sized person; it, along with her needles, fell to the floor. Tweek screamed, scurrying off to find Craig no doubt, and Butters immediately ran to her side. She lurched again, her arms wrapping around her stomach. "Oww," she moaned.

"Are you okay? Is it the baby?" Butters asked.

"Of course it's the baby, dumbass," Kyle said from the floor, nonplussed.

"Do we need to go to the hospital?"

Nora struggled to answer; then her water broke, evidently so, and she said, "Um, yes."

They saw Butters and Nora off; Butters promised to text with updates. Wendy felt strangely broken-hearted, the only pregnant one of the group at the moment, though Nora was technically still pregnant. "I fucking knew that was going to happen," Kyle said, as they all headed back inside to eat dessert.

Stan's dessert was predictably delicious; he was a professional pastry chef. Everybody was excited for Butters and Nora, phones lying in wait on the table, though they didn't hear from him by the conclusion of the dinner party. They had been ending earlier and earlier as they grew older. When they were all in their early twenties, fresh out of college and back to South Park, they'd stay over until at least three in the morning, sometimes crashing at each other's places. Now they were pretty much all wrapped up by eleven, everybody tired, missing their children and wanting the morning to come. Wendy could tell it made some of them-Token and Ruby, namely-sad, but it wasn't a big deal to Wendy. She had things to do; now, she had to clean up.

When they hosted the party at Wendy and Kenny's house, Stan and Kyle were always the last couple to leave. They were the closest to them, after all, Kenny's bonds running deep. It was then, after she'd said goodbye to Craig and Tweek and Token and Ruby, that Wendy missed Bebe, her own best friend. She made a mental note to call her the next day, not for too long, since she was on vacation and all.

Stan helped clean up; Kyle parked himself at the dining room table with the leftovers. Wendy was a bit embarrassed by the fact that she was incredibly tired, her feet sore even though she hadn't been standing that much, and she sat at the dining table so she'd be able to participate in the conversation. She picked at some of the leftovers herself, limp fruit and finger sandwiches tasting like the best things she'd ever eaten.

"I can't believe Token and Ruby are moving," Stan said. He was doing dishes in the kitchen; Wendy could see him from where she sat. "Craig seemed really upset."

"Well, I'd be upset if Karen just up and left," Kenny offered. He was drying dishes and putting them up.

"I don't know. I wasn't mad when Shelly left." Shelly lived in rural Maine with her husband. They had four kids; Kenny and Wendy often discussed the possibility that Kyle wanted to outdo this.

"It's different with little siblings," Kyle said. "It's a totally different relationship."

"Yeah," Kenny agreed. "You kind of feel like their parent more than their sibling sometimes. Do I care that Kevin's off doing god-knows-what in Arizona? No. But I'd be heartbroken if Karen moved to Denver."

"Exactly. You know how I feel about Ike's adventures in Europe."

"I guess," Stan said. "I wonder why Ruby didn't tell him in advance."

"Who knows?" Kyle shrugged. He took a drink of some leftover wine. "The Tuckers are strange people. Including Tweek.  _Hand-eye coordination_?"

"I think the caffeine damaged his brain," Wendy said in earnest. "Especially since he stopped drinking coffee. He'd honestly be a fascinating medical case study."

"I think he's just nuts." Kyle rolled his eyes.

"I hope Butters and Nora are doing okay," Stan said from the kitchen. They all nodded and made noises of agreement.

"I'm excited to find out what sex the baby is. It's so weird they chose not to wait; that's so, I don't know, 1990s." The wine had clearly gotten to Kyle. He picked up a finger sandwich and tore it apart aggressively, removing the lettuce before stuffing the whole thing in his mouth.

"I think it's sweet. Impractical, but sweet," Stan said. Kenny nodded in agreement.

They had not heard from Butters by the time Stan and Kyle left around midnight. Wendy was thoroughly tired; she let Kenny lock up the house while she went to bed and stripped, slipping under the covers. They knew the baby she was carrying now was a boy and they'd been talking about names, both partial to the idea of naming him Gabriel, though they mostly just referred to him as Little Kenny, like they had referred to Susanna as Little Wendy. She curled around her baby bump, envisioning Little Kenny's life laid out in front of him, while she waited for the other Kenny.

She must've dozed off, because Kenny woke her up when he got in bed. "Butters called," he whispered, his nose against hers. "It's a boy. They named him Peter."

"That's...that's a name," Wendy said, yawning. She allowed Kenny to take her into his arms. "I'm sorry, that's a  _horrible_ name," she clarified, laughing against his bare chest.

"I agree. But I guess it was Nora's grandfather's name? Whatever. I'm gonna call the kid Penis."

"You can't do that!" Wendy laughed harder against Kenny's chest. In their cozy, dark bed, warm and held, Wendy was overcome with how much she loved Kenny, just for the simple fact of how easy it was for him to make her laugh.

"What's with all of our friends giving their kids weird names? I mean, Quinn? Felix? What is this, Harry Potter?"

"Stop, you're gonna make me pee," Wendy said, trying to bite back her laughter.

"Maybe I'd like that." Kenny's hand travelled down to her ass, squeezed.

That got her to stop laughing; she wrinkled her nose. "Gross."

"Just kidding. Up for something?" he asked, grinding into her.

She was, of course, as perpetually horny as she was. She rode Kenny, him on his back with his hands folded beneath his head, both of them drinking in the view of each other. Moonlight threw itself across their bodies, their house quiet, both of them allowed to moan and scream as much as they liked with Susanna gone. Still, her absence was noted; it felt weird to not tuck her in, and as much as Wendy appreciated unabashed sex, she missed her daughter.

"Susanna didn't call at bedtime," she said afterwards reflecting on this. "Karen must've forgotten."

"I don't blame her, all those kids running around. But we got that nice picture."

"I hope she puts it on Facebook."

"She will." Kenny yawned.

"I forgot to tell you. Janette told me they were approved by the adoption agency, but you can't tell Karen, because she's going to surprise her on her birthday."

"That's wonderful," Kenny said, his voice thick with emotion. "Are they still going to try to adopt a special needs kid?"

"I don't know. I hope so. They'll be such great parents."

"Yeah." There was a few moments of silence, the only sound the low rush of the fan they kept on for white noise. Kenny yawned again."I think it was a successful dinner party."

"Me too. I'm gonna miss Butters and Nora at the next one. They always have the least drama." Wendy's eyes were heavy; she was drifting to sleep, memories of the day and future dinner parties swimming on her eyelids.

"Drama's what makes it fun, though," Kenny said. He dropped a kiss to Wendy's forehead; he was still on his back, Wendy curled up next to him. "That weird Craig and Ruby shit? Priceless. Tweek's weird-ass self? Hilarious. And watching you and Kyle go at each other? I fucking love it, Wen. Gets me so hot for you."

"You and Stan and your weird macho competitiveness," she mumbled.

"We win, though. We always win."

"Fuck yeah."

Kenny laughed softly. Maybe it was a joke; maybe it wasn't; maybe it was somewhere in between. As far as Wendy was concerned, though, Kenny was right. She always won. Her husband was the best, her child the best, her life the best. Overcome with love, she clamped onto Kenny even tighter and let herself fall into sleep.

She dreamed Susanna and Sawyer were getting married on a cloud, Kenny sobbing beside her. All the children were grown but still behaved like kids, running up and down aisles and giggling; there were several more as well, including one Wendy immediately recognized as Gabriel, a tall young man with wavy blonde hair and blue eyes. He winked at her before disappearing, the scene shifting to something utterly nonsensical, unicorns and and dollhouses and flowers and other girly things that Wendy still had a place in her heart for. She would forget these things in the morning, excited to recollect Susanna, though she should remember her dreams had been weird and chalk it up to the fact that pregnant women sometimes had strange dreams. For now, though, she lived in a state of bliss in both waking world and dreamworld, Kenny and her children with her in both.


End file.
